“You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You can find yourself by coming into the present.” Eckhart Tolle
I have attempted meditation on and off for a few years. I never really started having success with it until I heard experts explain that you are not really trying to get anywhere or become anything. Rather, you are simply trying to uncover the blessings of the present moment that are obscured by thought. I admit meditation initially conjured up images in my mind of enlightened meditation experts sitting in perfect poses. My perspective changed when I realized the only thing I needed to do was to be able to relax and honor the present moment. The sad part for me was realizing I was so caught up in past thoughts and future goals that I actually had to force myself to appreciate the present. Then, I thought about how many of us live our lives at warp speed never stopping to smell the roses. So, is the awkwardness I feel about the fear of not achieving perfect enlightenment or posture? Or, is it more accurately related to the fear of detachment from the rat race and not slowing down enough to face my fears and limiting thoughts head on?
I was wasting a lot of time waiting for the right moment or the right posture. Living more mindfully however means being present through everyday events. Otherwise, you meditate for a few moments and then carry on with your life the same way you did before you started meditating. Your mind re-enters the equation and tells you what you need to do and what thoughts you should think. It quickly takes over and overshadows the beauty of the present. Suddenly you are back in the throws of what needs to be done now, rather than what should be done now. Start from wherever you are now, and take a breath.
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